Apr 18 2009

Take Down The Bird Feeder

 

I think this just about sums it up!!!

Leave it to Maxine to come up with a solution 
for the economic mess that America is in now

Maxine 

I bought a bird feeder. I hung 
it on my back porch and filled 
it with seed. What a beauty of 
a bird feeder it was, as I filled it
 
lovingly with seed.. Within a 
week we had hundreds of birds 
taking advantage of the 
continuous flow of free and 
easily accessible food. 

But then the birds started 
building nests in the boards 
of the patio, above the table, 
and next to the barbecue.
 

Then came the poop. It was 
everywhere: on the patio tile, 
the chairs, the table .. 
everywhere! 

Then some of the birds 
turned mean. They would 
dive bomb me and try to 
peck me even though I had 
fed them out of my own 
pocket. 

And others birds were 
boisterous and loud. They 
sat on the feeder and 
squawked and screamed at 
all hours of the day and night 
and demanded that I fill it 
when it got low on food. 

After a while, I couldn’t even 
sit on my own back porch 
anymore.  So I took down the 
bird feeder and in three days 
the birds were gone. I cleaned
up their mess and took down 
the many nests they had built 
all over the patio. 

Soon, the back yard was like 
it used to be …. quiet, serene…. 
and no one demanding their 
rights to a free meal. 

Now let’s see. 
Our government gives out 
free food, subsidized housing, 
free medical care and free 
education, and allows anyone 
born here to be an automatic 
citizen. 

Then the illegal’s came by the 
tens of thousands..  Suddenly 
our taxes went up to pay for 
free services; small apartments 
are housing 5 families; you 
have to wait 6 hours to be seen 
by an emergency room doctor;
your child’s second grade class is 
behind other schools because 
over half the class doesn’t speak 
English. 

Corn Flakes now come in a 
bilingual box; I have to 
‘press one ‘ to hear my bank 
talk to me in English, and 
people waving flags other 
than ‘Old Glory’ are 
squawking and screaming 
in the streets, demanding 
more rights and free liberties..

Just my opinion, but maybe 
it’s time for the government 
to take down the bird feeder.
 

If you agree, pass it on; if not,
continue cleaning up the poop

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Apr 08 2009

Go Girls!

 

Never Argue with a Woman

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after
several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up,

And begins to read her book.

The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, ‘Good morning, Ma’am. What are you
doing?’

‘Reading a book,’ she replies, (thinking, ‘Isn’t that obvious?’)

‘You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,’ he informs her.

‘I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing.. I’m reading.’

‘Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.

For all I know you could start at any moment.

I’ll have to take you in and write you up.’

‘If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,’ says the
woman.

‘But I haven’t even touched you,’ says the Game Warden.

‘That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start
at any moment..’

‘Have a nice day ma’am,’ and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she can also think.

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